Random Pregnancy Thoughts: August

Me: poking Chris in the arm to get his attention "Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy!"

Chris: ignoring me, assuming I have nothing of interest to say.

Me: "Chrissy!!!!!" I continue to poke him whilst he ignores me! "Chrissy guess what?!"

Chris: tries to go on ignoring me.

Me: *thinking there is no way Chris is going to win this war* upgrades to poking Chrissy's ribs "Chrissy guess what?!"

Chris: "What?"

Me: *thinking woohoo I won* "Want to know how I wash my feet?!"

Chris: "not really" and goes back to his book.

Me: "In the shower I get the loofah and put soap on it... then I drop it on the floor and use my other foot to rub it on my foot."

Chris: unimpressed "That's lovely darling".

Why do my stretch marks hurt? Are they supposed to?

Me: waking up in the morning... "Chrissy I need a hug"

Chris: moving towards me "you want a hug?" 

Me: starts crying

Chris: "aw darling is it because Pene did a big poo?"

Me: "I don't know why" cries into Chris' clothes

So I was getting dressed for work when I went to choose some shoes. I pushed my feet into them. They seemed a bit snug... hmmmm, I thought, I have heard about people getting swollen feet... maybe my feet are a bit swollen. Oh well. A few hours later I was sitting at my desk with my shoes off. I went to get a cup of tea and planned to put my shoes on to walk to the kitchen. Alas, my feet had other plans. There was no squishing my feet back into the shoes... so for the rest of the day I was shoeless. No one gets cranky and mentions WH&S to the crazy shoeless pregnant lady, they just let her get her tea.

So, my ring doesn't fit anymore. Yeah, that same ring that falls off in the winter months... it is too small for my fatty-mcfatty fingers! 

Getting ready for work decisions tree...

Do I have to see any clients or go to important meetings today?

Yes: wear proper clothes

No: wear track pants and hoodie

The man gave me back my change and $1 coin fell on the floor. I just stood there and looked at it. Perhaps it would magically fly into my hand... ah yes it does fly into my hand (with help from the man picking it up and placing it into my hand). No joke, I was ready to walk away from that $1.

As told to me by a friend...

Male doctor: women tend to like to pamper themselves and splurge in the last trimester with a pedicure. They like their toes to look nice.

Any female: ah... well it is probably because they can't reach their feet anymore to even trim their nails.

I now look at my size 10E bras and wonder how I ever fit into something so small!

If my boobs could stop growing now, that would be great.

Everyone ever: how are you feeling?

Me: fat

Everyone ever: oh no... you aren't fat... you're pregnant... you look lovely... yeah pregnant.

Me: ah... yeah pregnant and fat. (Seriously I am fat. I am okay with it, no need to try to make me feel better, but yeah unless the baby is partly in my arms, thighs and boobs... there is some fat going on there.)

Everyone ever: how much longer to go?

Me: seven weeks

Everyone ever: (with shocked look on face looking at how huge I am). Wow not long to go now!

Me: no, it is ages!