Chrissy and his Tiny Human

"Big Tara looks pregnant" said Chrissy, as he pokes my tummy at the girls' bedtime. It is stretching like there really is a Tiny Human in there.

"How many weeks are we Chrissy?" I ask thinking he won't know.
"15, i mean 17 because next week is 18 and we get to find out the sex."
"Yeah," I say, "But our scan isn't until the weeks after."
"Aw" says Chrissy.

"OMG Chrissy, I have a stretch mark, it's beginning." I say pointing to a little red mark on my belly. "You have to rub oil on me every night now."
"I don't even like rubbing oil on myself, I don't want to rub it on you."
"Tough luck," I reply "you will do it."

"Chrissy get me [insert thing I want]..."
"No, I'm busy." He replies.
"It's for the baby..."
"Aw!" He says as he gets me my thing.

"What's wrong daddy?" Says Little Tara.
"I'm sleepy" says Chrissy, "At night time mummy likes to put her hand on my face and laugh and scream in her dreams and it keep me up.
"Oh, because of the baby?"

"Did you fart?" says Chrissy to me, as if he has to ask!
To Little Tara: "mummy is always farting because of Tiny Human. Tiny Human likes to fart and it comes out of mummy."
"Really?" says Little Tara giggling.

"I finally chose my pram." I tell Chrissy.
"Maybe we don't need a pram you can just carry the baby everywhere. That seems cheaper."

We stop at the petrol station and I make no effort to get out.
"I have to fill the car up, don't I?" says Chrissy.
"Yes, for the baby." I tell him.
"I don't think the baby has anything to do with the petrol" He says begrudgingly getting out of the car. "This baby is asking a lot".
"Yeah well, I have to grow it, I need to make life hard for you to balance it out. That is why you need to get the petrol." 

Wholly molly why is buying a pram so difficult!

So I have a list of things in my head that I need to get before Tiny Human comes into the world.

• Cot: done! We had this for caring :)
• High chair: done! And this too
• Change table with drawers: done! Thanks to Gumtree
• Bassinet: done (to be borrowed from Cee)
• Pram: ... so not done!

Who would have thought buying a pram would be so difficult and expensive! I think it is more confusing than buying a car!At leaast when it comes to the kind of car you want you have a choice of maybe 10 that fit the category. In prams there are 200 categories all with 600 choices within them and surprise surpoise, no pram does it all... To get one feature you have to sacrifice another! I am negotiating with prams for the best outcome and still beyond confuzzelled.

Here is my list (so far);

• 1. Peg Perego Book Pop Up: this is a great modular pram that can grow with Tiny Human. 
• The car seat, bassinet and toddler seat all attach into it really easily. 
• It weighs just over 10kg and folds into a standing position that is easy to lift. 
• It folds with the toddler seat and bassinet attached. 
• Lots of gorgeous colour choices!
• BUT: you can't attach a second seat to it if another baby comes into the family. 
• BUT: for the whole system (yeah I think of them like a system) it will cost about $1500.

• 2. Peg Perego Skate (yeah I think this brand): again is a modular pram that has all the connections and features of the Book. 
• This is an older model from 2011 and isn't manufactured anymore but comes up on Gumtree and Ebay for great prices (less tan $500). 
• The good thing about this model is that that the jumper seat can be attached with no fuss. 
• BUT: it is an older model so doesn't have as many perks and may be more likely to have wear and tear issues. Plus, buying it second hand limits colour choice.
• BUT: it does not fold as simply as the Book. 
• BUT: the storage is a little small - however it is is a removable basket that means you can take it out and use the are without being confined to the basket.

• 4. Bugaboo Chameleon: I get the impression this is a really popular brand and pram.
• Lots of colour choices! My favourite is the dark denim. So pretty.
• It has good quality suspension and the pram can flip so the big tyres go at the front making it easier on tougher terrain.
• Weighs under 10kg
• 3 year warranty
• BUT: it is more much pricey than the Peg Perego models - before the accessories and the car seat is purchased you have spent about $1500.

• 4. Baby jogger city select
• second seat attachment is easy
• is the complete system like all of the above
• handle bar break
• designed to be a great double pram
• BUT: not auto lock fold and inst standing when folded. Also isn't too good when folded with seats on it.
• BUT: there are quite a few reviews that the front wheels cause problems even in the warranty period, like wobbling and squeaking

• 3. Chicco Bravo Ombra
• a budget option
• built in mummy tray
• one hand fold
• only $500
• BUT: no bassinet option
• BUT: not as attractive to the eye - boring red, blue or black colour options (usually only available in black)

So here I am drowning in options, YouTube videos and online reviews that don't help to put anything in perspective. Help is welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exercising with a fat belly - Part 1

For two months I did a little more than throwing up and staying in bed. 
This did very little for my flexibility and fitness level I bet.
So when I decided to take Tiny Human on its first jog.
I knew it would be hard and be quite a slog.
Everything hurt as I jogged along and my belly jiggled.
I am sure if Chris was watching, he would have giggled!
I ran so slow it bored and psychologically hurt me.
But as I ran and felt my muscles move in unison, I almost felt free.
So the fact the I didn't travel very far was not as displeasing.
As I stretched then walked the rest of the way home I wanted to sing.
In the end, on day one I did a super slow one and a half kilometers.
My shins hurt the next day and it made me want to run again even more.
When I started out I felt sore and a little fat.
And I was slow again but compared to yesterday, I went faster than that.
My belly seemed to jiggle more as my feet hit the pavement.
And my boobs hurt real bad, jumping around, heavy like cement.
I stopped when it was too much and thankfully went further than the day before!
One point seven k's made me smile even though my legs were super sore!
It turns out Tiny Human took jogging as an invitation to make my belly grow!
Check out my picture of my huge boobs, crazy belly and sweaty glow!

Little Tara's photography skills aside, my belly looks huge! Wholly molly there's a baby in there!

Wholly Molly Memes Totally Get Me

Wholly molly I am 15 weeks pregnant!

The voice in my head: oh my goodness that is only 5 weeks until half way! You are not prepared for this, you are almost half way to having a baby, that is like almost having a baby!

Me: I need to buy everything! I need a pram and nappies and allllll the baby stuff!

Wholly molly the convertible pram I want is more than $1000!

The voice in my head: that is ludicrous! How can they charge that much. Maybe I don't need a pram that is also a baby capsule, that can also be a toddler stroller that is easy tom walk and run with?!

The review online: YOU MUST GET THIS PRAM IT MADE PARENTING A WALK IN THE PARK plus I COULD ACTUALLY WALK IN THE PARK!

Me: *text to Chrissy* I need this pram.

Wholly molly I need to make big decisions like... disposable or reusable nappies!

The voice in my head: disposable just go straight in the bin. Reusable are so much better for the environment and cheaper in the long run... (pros and cons go on for a while).

The internet: both are great options... I cannot help you decide!

Wholly molly why am I getting so fat!

The voice in my head: yeah you are, no clothes are going to fit you soon. You aren't pregnant at all, you are just getting fat and trying to hide it! Ew!

Me: nope, I am pregnant and my belly is gross and will continue to get grosser so that I can grow a Tiny Human!

Wholly molly I am 15 weeks pregnant!

Voice in my head: you know what that means? Your chances of miscarriage are so low now, this baby might actually come!

Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A gift from Little Tara

"Yay tiny humen"

One down, two to go

The first trimester was a breeze,
I got through it with ease!
Well, perhaps that isn't all true,
Perhaps, it was more like wading in glue.

Either way, the first hurdle is done for,
I won't miss any of it, that is for sure!
The sickness and fatigue,
Have decreased, now there is a new need.

The second trimester is all about growing,
Tiny Human needs to do some developing.
Grow, munchkin, grow and be strong,
I want to feel you and know what is going on.

They say this part is the easiest,
But I think it might be the craziest!
It is the time we find out your gender,
And when you kick the first time, I will remember.

I might start to buy things,
Going crazy with online baby shopping trends.
Or plan out your name and room,
For such things, half way, isn't too soon.

So, bring on the second trimester,
While it bring out my nester,
I will have energy and excitement,
Perhaps that is the understatement!

I saw you Tiny Human

I saw you, Tiny Human
You are so tiny, just blooming.
Six centimetres from top the bottom,
So tiny and AWESOME!
You punched one arm in the air,
Over and over like you just don't care!
Chris and I laughed at you tiny hand,
And movements fit for a jazz band!
Then you looked like you spoke,
Mouth opened and closed.
Like a tiny fish, guppy 
Or a cute little puppy!

I saw you Tiny Human!

Ode to "morning" sickness

Oh morning sickness, how I will not miss you,

Your early morning wake ups were so very cruel,

The after lunch vomits caused such terrible acidic pain,

And those times I threw up all day, were tiring, a drain.

Who said you only came in the morning?

For me, by midday the worse was still forming.

The nausea was relentless and painful,

Whist the vomiting was frequent and distasteful.

That night in hospital was the worst,

I was truly thinking Tiny Human had me cursed.

It was a busy A&E with blood and sprains,

And I still felt super sick when my IV bag was drained.

I hadn’t seen a doctor because of the incoming drama,

So I said I’d check myself out, my waiting time over.

I didn’t care that I was still throwing up and dying,

I just wanted my own bed and a big lie in.

“Eat an apple first thing in the morning”, she said.

“My friends did it, kept it right next to their bed”

Well that was a horrific idea, no joke,

The amount of acid I was throwing up made me choke!

I tried Sea Bands and dry crackers,

Jelly beans, water, juice, wafers.

I threw up it all, into my little red bucket,

And in the end just swore, cried and said FUCK IT!

The girls wanted me to be better,

They got worried when I just got sicker,

They wanted to count the amount of vomits per day,

So they could measure if things were improving this way.

Chris was great and picked up the slack,

Took the girls to school and carried the back pack.

He read them stories, did homework for class,

No thanks to you morning sickness, you ass!

When we saw Tiny Human on the ultra sound,

It had a head so big and round,

But I joked with Chris, it might be small,

How could it grow strong when I was digesting nothing at all?

So, Morning Sickness, it should be no surprise at all,

That as you go away, I won’t promise to call,

You kept me off work and stuck in my room,

Watching boring TV and getting nothing in return.

Good-bye to you, you vomit inducing shrew,

I can deal with the fatigue and headaches as they are due,

Now that you can’t control my gastric juices,

Good-bye to you, no more abuses.