Ode to "morning" sickness

Oh morning sickness, how I will not miss you,

Your early morning wake ups were so very cruel,

The after lunch vomits caused such terrible acidic pain,

And those times I threw up all day, were tiring, a drain.

Who said you only came in the morning?

For me, by midday the worse was still forming.

The nausea was relentless and painful,

Whist the vomiting was frequent and distasteful.

That night in hospital was the worst,

I was truly thinking Tiny Human had me cursed.

It was a busy A&E with blood and sprains,

And I still felt super sick when my IV bag was drained.

I hadn’t seen a doctor because of the incoming drama,

So I said I’d check myself out, my waiting time over.

I didn’t care that I was still throwing up and dying,

I just wanted my own bed and a big lie in.

“Eat an apple first thing in the morning”, she said.

“My friends did it, kept it right next to their bed”

Well that was a horrific idea, no joke,

The amount of acid I was throwing up made me choke!

I tried Sea Bands and dry crackers,

Jelly beans, water, juice, wafers.

I threw up it all, into my little red bucket,

And in the end just swore, cried and said FUCK IT!

The girls wanted me to be better,

They got worried when I just got sicker,

They wanted to count the amount of vomits per day,

So they could measure if things were improving this way.

Chris was great and picked up the slack,

Took the girls to school and carried the back pack.

He read them stories, did homework for class,

No thanks to you morning sickness, you ass!

When we saw Tiny Human on the ultra sound,

It had a head so big and round,

But I joked with Chris, it might be small,

How could it grow strong when I was digesting nothing at all?

So, Morning Sickness, it should be no surprise at all,

That as you go away, I won’t promise to call,

You kept me off work and stuck in my room,

Watching boring TV and getting nothing in return.

Good-bye to you, you vomit inducing shrew,

I can deal with the fatigue and headaches as they are due,

Now that you can’t control my gastric juices,

Good-bye to you, no more abuses.